Abandonment should never be threatened
-It only reinforces fear and non-acceptance, and leads to the child's mindset of "I'll reject you first". These children challenge their parents not because they want to leave, but because they want their parents to prove they are wanted.
- Having a consistent routine provides the child with security and predictability. If the rules are firmly in place, the child can begin to alter his/her behavior.
Maintain honesty in all their relations with their child
-Authentic relationships between people must be anchored by genuineness and sincerity. When you remain open and honest with your child they subsequently maintain their integrity and trustworthiness. Being realistic is a must, as they will hold you to whatever you say. They have experienced disappointment so you must be careful of making unrealistic promises.Check back
-Often an older child will have a difficult time feeling like they are a part of the family. It is important that you beat them to the emotional punch. Take the initiative, rather than just expect there will be some sort of acknowledgement. Parents should develop a ritual of hugs, a wave and a last look whenever there is separation from the child.Time-in rather than Time-out
-A time in might mean the child sits at the kitchen table while you cook, or must do chores instead of being sent to their room. Being isolated from the parent reinforces their feelings of being rejected.
Pick your battles
- Refrain from making an issue over something that cannot or does not need to be controlled.
Keep it in perspective
-Children's behavior shouldn't be taken personally, even when addressed specifically to the parent.Forgive and Forget
-When the conflict is over, it is essential to forgive and forget. Forgetting is important in order to simply move on.
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Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.
This web site and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this blog are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2014.