Numbers of Children in Foster Care Increase

Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS) recently released their data from FY2014.  There data shows that there was an increase of children coming into the system and a decrease of children leaving, making the population in the system grow.  From last year, the overall increase was 3425 more children waiting for permanency.

We can't say why the number is increasing--it's too early to have any definite answers. Rafael Lopez, Commissioner of the Department's Administration on Children, Youth and Families said, "We are concerned about any increases in the foster care number, and we are working hard with our state partners to better understand the reasons behind the increase".

Some possible explanations are:

Shift in focus from family preservation to child safety: There used to be a focus on reunification and now the system is focusing on the safety of the child.  Social workers are asking more questions and noticing more and more red flags which would mean that a safe environment could not be created for the child.

Drug Addiction: Although alcohol and drug addiction numbers have stabilized over the years, substance abuse is still one of the main reasons that children enter and remain in the foster care system.

High Turnover in Foster Care Workers: Although there is no substantial evidence to prove this is a reason for the increased number in foster care children, youth worker turnover could be adding to it.  With new inexperienced workers joining family services' staff, there will be transition issues which may mean longer time periods in foster care. 

Lack of Services to Help Birth Families: "In some states funding for services to prevent removal of children from their biological families has declined in recent years. For example, in Florida in-home services to prevent removal have declined since a peak in 2012.

Christina Spudeas, executive director of the advocacy group Florida’s Children First, says: “The key to successfully leaving children in the home after an allegation of abuse or neglect is to have the right services provided to the family at the right time, with sufficient oversight.”

To read the entire article from the Creating a Family website click this link

Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.
Disclaimer

This blog and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this blog are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2015.

Adopting Siblings

The Creating a Family website gives some excellent tips on what to expect when you are adopting siblings. Part of social worker's job is trying to keep siblings together if possible, and this priority of placement is statutory.  However, the child's best interest are paramount. Not all sibling placements are successful and sometimes, it is best for the emotional health of one child for the siblings to be separated. We have worked with sibling groups who have been adopted by one family successfully.  We have also worked with sibling groups who have each been adopted by different families and the adoptive families have done a great job of helping their child grow and change while maintaining the sibling bond with regular visits and communication.

There are unique challenges and blessings of adopting siblings.  For the child, it is comforting to have a family member transition with them into the new placement who already knows them and their history well.  The child is also not the only "new" member of the family.  One of the challenges is that the unhealthy sibling patterns in the former family can be carried over into the new placement. Each child reminds the other of past abuse or neglect and flashbacks can occur. As in many placements of older siblings, professional therapy can make the difference.

The tips you are about to read were taken directly from the Creating a Family website.  If you wish to read the entire article with all the tips they have to share with you we have provided a link.

Tips for Adopting Siblings

1. Forming attachment with each child in the sibling unit takes effort and individual time with each child.
2. Lower your expectations on what you will be able to accomplish outside of parenting, for the first 6-12 months post adoption. This is not the time to take on a major home renovation, an extra project at work that requires frequent travel, or a new hobby.
3. Be up front with your social worker before the adoption about what type of behaviors you cannot handle. Do not be afraid to say you cannot or do not want to handle some behaviors.
4. Try to plan a fun family activity each week that you and the children will enjoy. There is nothing like having fun together to build the bonds of family love. These activities will also help to blend the children already in the home with the newly adopted siblings. This activity does not have to be expensive and should be something that you genuinely look forward to. See Best Parenting Advice Ever (and it’s not what you think).
5. If you have children already in the family, be very careful with supervision and limit time alone without parental supervision. You will not know all types of abuse that the children may have been exposed to. 
6. Recognize that the children will likely grieve what they have lost before they are able to celebrate what they have gained. You may feel that the child is better off with you in your safe and comfortable home, but your child likely will not believe that at first. Spend time before they arrive understanding this grief and recognizing the different ways it may be exhibited. Your social worker should be able to provide training on grief and loss and you will need ongoing support.

Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.
Disclaimer

This blog and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this blog are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2015.

Finding an expectant parent for a possible adoption

I'm often asked how adoptive parents and birth parents connect with each other.  If they are not matched though a licensed agency, how do they meet and determine that they would like to proceed with a direct parental placement or independent adoption?

I have found the number one way that adoptive parents and birth parents connect is through word of mouth.  A common example is that the adoptive parents had let it be known that they were interested in adopting and someone in their circle of friends or acquaintances learned of a birth mother who was exploring adoption.

Other tips include sending out your profile to adoption attorneys who connect directly with birth parents.  If you do that, you could find the list of reputable adoption attorneys at www.adoptionattorneys.org.  Narrow down your mailing to attorneys in the state where you live or where you have other ties.  If the adoption occurs across state lines, you will be staying in the state where the child is born until the birth parent(s) have executed their consents and permission has been obtained for the adoption to occur across state lines through the ICPC clearance process.  This might be where your relatives reside or a state you lived in previously where you still have a lot of connections.  

It is good to send hard copies of your profile book which does not contain your identifying information (See our earlier blog post from 2013 on Creating an Adoption Profile) Along with the book, you should provide a cover letter which has your best contact information, the name of your attorney and their contact information.  If you would like to be notified before your profile book is shown, you would also make that request in the letter.  

Some additional tips can be found in this excellent article from Creating a Family:

Although the article uses the word “advertising” because that is how people search for this information, there is something inherently dehumanizing about using this word in relation to a woman in crisis. As you follow the tips, keep in mind that this is a human being we are talking about, and a person that may well be in your life for life. Proceed with respect and compassion.

·         Notify your personal network of family and friends that you are interested in adopting and would appreciate them keeping you in mind if they hear of an opportunity to discuss adoption with an expectant parent. Ask them to spread the word to their circle of friends. We recommend sending a letter via old fashion mail.  Letters are infrequent enough now to stand out as something important. You may want to follow up with an email to make it easier to include a link to your adoption website. See below.

·        Think through in advance about the need to strike the balance between your need for privacy and your need to spread the word.  In order to cast your net wide, you will need to share your adoption journey.

·        Do not send out a mass mailing to people you do not know asking them about a potential match. It will likely just end up in the trash.

·        You must talk with your adoption agency or adoption attorney about what type of adoption advertising your state allows. If you need help finding an adoption agency, check out the resources at the Creating a Family Choosing an Adoption Agency page.  If you need help finding an adoption attorney, check out the American Academy of AdoptionAttorneys: 

·        Set up a website for your adoption journey.  Keep it simple. Include photos and your adoption profile.  Although certainly not necessary, you may want to include a blog, but you will want to be circumspect about how much of your impatience and frustration you want to share.  Do not spend a lot of money on setting up this website. It need not be fancy.  You likely will not get many hits, so this should not be where you spend the bulk of your money.

·        Make up some inexpensive business style cards with your name, a photo, your situation (for example: “Longing to be parents through open adoption”), your website URL, and your contact information. Hand them out if you strike up a conversation with someone and this topic is mentioned and they seem interested.

·        Use the internet and online social networks to spread the word that you are looking to adopt.  Most people now use the internet as their primary way of gathering information. Endless possibilities including Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, YouTube, and parent profile type sites. See the  Top Ten Tips for Using the Internet to Find Prospective Birth Mothers and our Do’s and Don’ts for Social Networking for Adoption.

·        Print advertising is not dead. Post ads in rural shopping guides, Penny Pinchers, daily newspapers in college towns, give-away newspapers, etc. Get suggestions from your adoption agency or adoption attorney about what states you should focus on when advertising outside of your state.

·        Place notices on bulletin boards where expectant moms may be. Keep in mind that many women consider adoption due to financial difficulties, so focus on places where poorer women may be, such as Laundromats, grocery stores, libraries, beauty parlors, and trailer parks. Always ask permission before posting.

What about using a facilitator?  A facilitator is a non-licensed agency or individual that you pay a fee to for birth parent advertising.  Payments to facilitators (non-licensed agencies) are illegal in many states and you may find yourself unable to finalize an adoption if you employ a facilitator.  There are also higher rates of fall throughs for placements made through facilitators.  This is because the birth parents have not received adequate in person counseling and are not truly prepared to make an adoption plan.  For a longer discussion of this topic, see the NCFA article I co-authored, The Role of Facilitators in Adoptions, Adoption Advocate, Issue 70. https://www.adoptioncouncil.org/resources/adoption-advocate/2?

Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.

Disclaimer

This blog and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this web-site are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2015

Client Testimonials

Private Placement Adoption FAQs

Are there many children who need adoptive homes?
In 2010, there were 52,981 children adopted from foster care and in FY 2014, 6,441from overseas. Domestic infant adoption statistics were not available.  However, we know that direct parental placement adoption is popular with birth parents.
How long does it take to adopt?
According to a 2012-2013 reader survey by Adoptive Families magazine, 66% of families who adopted in the U.S. received a referral less than one year after they completed their paperwork.
What are the benefits of private adoption?
A large benefit is that you are usually present for the birth of the child and begin to bond with the child in the hospital.  The baby is discharged directly to you instead of to interim caregivers as in an agency placement.  A simultaneous meeting in which you meet the birth mother and exchange information on the child is required for private adoption.  The information obtained in this face –to–face meeting can be very important as your child grows older.  This meeting may occur in an agency placement without exchange of identifying information.  Another benefit for adoptive parents who are “make it happen” type of people is that they locate the birth mother for themselves to achieve an adoptive placement rather than sitting on an agency waiting list.  Sometimes the adoptive families and birth parents stay in touch, which again can be very important to the child as they enter adolescence.  Finally, private adoption generally costs less than adopting through an agency.
Can I adopt if I'm over 40?
Yes, there are no age limits in a private adoption. Check with your adoption attorney to see if private adoption is available in your state.  It is available in Virginia.
Isn't it really expensive to adopt?

1.      It's true that adoption should be free, however, protecting your family's interests means that you have to hire professionals to help you comply with your state's adoption laws.

2.      There is help available. The federal Adoption Tax Credit provides up to $13,400 for qualifying expenses paid to adopt an eligible child in 2015. The credit is indexed for inflation and will increase annually. Eligible expenses include adoption fees, court costs, attorney fees, traveling expenses (including amounts spent for meals and lodging) and other expenses directly related to your adoption.

3.      There is an income limit for this credit.  See www.irs.gov for the forms and additional information.

4.      Further, many large employers offer adoption assistance. Those payments may qualify for exclusion from your income for tax purposes in addition to the tax credit. You may exclude up to $13,400 from your income in 2015. So, for example, if your employer offers adoption assistance payments of $5,000 and your total adoption related expenses were $18,400, you could claim $13,400 as a tax credit AND exclude $5,000 from your income. However, if your total expenses were $13,400, you could not take the credit and the exclusion-the same expenses cannot be counted twice. The income limits for the tax credit also apply to the exclusion.

I've heard horror stories of birth parents "reclaiming" their children after several years-does that happen very often?
It's very rare. Adoption is governed by state law and if you and the birth parents work with licensed adoption professionals, your risk is small.
In Virginia, there is a "fall-through" rate of 1 to 2% after the child is born, and that usually happens in the first three days after birth. The "revocation period" or time which the birth parent has to "change their mind" after consenting to the adoption, varies by state as well. For a private adoption in Virginia, the birth parent's consent is irrevocable seven days after signing. If a birth parent places through an agency, consent is revocable once all three of the following have occurred: seven days have passed since the signing of the entrustment agreement, the child is ten days old, and the child is placed in the physical custody of adoptive parents. An adoption cannot be challenged for any reason 6 months after a Final Order of Adoption is granted by a Circuit Court in the Commonwealth.
What are the next steps if I want to pursue a Private Adoption?

First, have a home study by a reputable licensed agency in your state.  Then, create an adoption profile book.  You agency will provide guidance on the how to do this and also see our blog post http://lawadoption.blogspot.com/2013_04_01_archive.html.  Distribute your profile to adoption attorneys in you state and any other state where you have connections.  For a list of adoption attorneys go to www.adoptionattorneys.org.  Let people in your circles know you are interested in who can assist you because word of mouth is the most successful way to locate a birth mother.  Some adoptive parents also post their profiles on http://parentprofiles.org/profiles/listings.

Drafted by Bernadette Miller, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.

Disclaimer

This web site and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this blog are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2015.

Adopting from India-Update

With the growth in families of Indian origin living in Loudoun County, Virginia, where I practice, I wanted to take the time to provide current information on what it takes to adopt a child from India. My assistant Brittany Alness and I had the pleasure of talking with Jane Lee and Sue Orban from the Children’s Home Society of Minnesota- CHSM, a Hague accredited adoption agency.  Jane is the senior program manager for Bulgaria, India and Korea and Sue is the outreach and intake coordinator.  

We learned that there are 3 different program types: India Heritage Program, Traditional India Program, and Relative Adoption Program

India Heritage Program: This is for families that have one prospective parent that is a non-resident Indian (NRI) and has a valid Indian passport or is an overseas citizen (OCI) of India.

- Although the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA) of India has been inconsistent in practice, it does promote that favor be given to NRI families when being matched by individual orphanages (RIPAs).  CARA wants families of Indian origin to adopt, but OCI cases are given less preference than NRI cases.

Traditional India Program: Families who are open to children with mild-to-moderate medical or cognitive diagnoses, including correctable needs and/or families open to children over the age of 4. This program is open to non-Indian families. 

Relative Adoption: Family must have an attorney in India as well as an attorney in the States.

We asked Jane and Sue to describe the procedures for an Indian adoption. India is a party to the Hague Adoption Convention, as is the U.S., and as a result, the U.S. and Indian adoption processes must happen in a specific order.  The U.S. Department of State adoption web-site contains a helpful summary of the processes.

How Long will it take:  Jane and Sue commented that one of the biggest frustrations is the difference in timelines between the different Indian states. Each state in India has a different government system and the time will vary by state.  Even within the same state, the Indian timeline is not always predictable and the family has to be flexible. 

Travel Requirements:  The Court Process is usually done by power of attorney and the family will not need to be present for court.  However, all families have to travel at least once to India for about 10 days.  During the trip, the family has three goals:  obtain physical custody of the child, schedule the medical appointment, and obtain the visa at the U.S. Embassy. 

The state of Andra Pradesh requires two visits—once to appear in court and once to obtain the visa for the child.

Citizenship of the Child:  If the family adopts under the Juvenile Justice Act, the child will obtain an IH-3 visa and become a citizen upon arriving home.  However, in the state of Kerala, the adoption is completed under a different law, Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act (HAMA), and in that case, the child will receive an IH-4 visa.  The child will become a lawful permanent resident upon arrival in the U.S. and the family will need to re-adopt or finalize the adoption of the child. 

Limitations to adopting from India:

Age and Marital Restrictions:

If the collective age of the couple is 90 or under, then they can be matched with child 0-3 years of age.

If the collective age of the couple is 91 -105, then they must be matched with a child over the age of 3.

Single women can adopt:  If you are 47 or younger, you can be matched with a child 0-3 years of age. If you are over 48-50, you will be matched with a child 3 years or older. However, if you are single and over the age of 50, you may not be permitted to adopt.

Expected Costs:

General  Agency fees (vary by state)--fee for home-study and post-placement visits

Country fee: $10,500—Divided into two payments:  one portion due at the time of referral acceptance and the second portion due at the time of the issuance of the No Objection Certificate

Third party fees:  I-800, medical exam, country travel

Children’s Home Society of Minnesota- CHSM can perform the home-study and post-placement visits in  MD, VA, Minnesota and Western Wisconsin. If the family does not reside in MD, VA, Minnesota and Western Wisconsin, then they need to have a home study done by licensed agency in their state.

Consider adopting from India:  I have worked with single women and married couples who have adopted from India and they are thrilled to become parents through intercountry adoption.  However, they have all stated that adopting from India requires flexibility and perseverance.  It is especially important to select a Hague accredited agency with a lot of experience in India and   Children’s Home Society of Minnesota- CHSM  is one such agency.

Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.
Disclaimer

This web site and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this blog are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2015.

People Actually Say This?

Just the other day we found a short blog from Creating a Family on the stupid things people say about adoption. We will share with you a few things people have actually said out loud to someone who has adopted, considered adoption or are in the process of adopting:

1. “You can’t register here because you are not really expecting.” (Said to a soon-to-be adoptive mom when she tried to register at Babies“R”Us.)
2. “I couldn't love a child that wasn't mine. I just don’t get why people would want to adopt.”
3. “You never know what you are going to get when you adopt!” and this little jewel:  “Why would you want to adopt someone else’s reject?”
4. “If you adopt from foster care, the child will go back to their bio family just as soon as they are old enough.”
5. “You’re doing it the easy way.” (Said to a women who was having a rough adoption journey after a long struggle with infertility.)

We were amazed at the lack of sensitivity sometimes displayed toward adoptive parents to be.  As prospective adoptive parents know, a big part of the process is educating those around them about why they are interested in adopting and the adoption process itself.  Using positive terminology about adoption is helpful.  And, politely but firmly  responding to some of these negative and hurtful comments may help the speaker think more carefully next time. 

Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.
Disclaimer

This web site and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this blog are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2015.

Adopting an Older Child

Adopting an older child

I often hear families express doubt as to their ability to parent an older adopted child. I found the following article from NCFA, Preparation and Support for Older Child Adoptions: NCFA Survey and Conference Feedback, Y: JAMEL ROWE, WITH MELISSA BLAUVELT AND RHONDA JAREMA, to contain valuable insights and suggestions.


What should I expect?

You should know that once your child comes home, they are carrying lots of history with them.  Some trauma, abuse or neglect are normal. Older children are going to carry with them a lot more than a younger child typically would.  Parenting these older children will not necessarily come easily but the experience will be so rewarding.

       ***Tip*** "Empathy, understanding the thoughts and feelings of another, is a learned skill, and grows only through consistent practice and follow-through.   It is an especially important skill for adoptive parents to acquire."  "First understanding, then meeting the needs of their children"

What might my child be feeling?

Older children in adoption are going to have a whirlwind of emotions.  It needs to be understood that they might be feeling shame, or angered.  These feelings can arise from hurt and grief that they might have experienced.

          ***Tip*** "By accepting the inevitability of having to work through some degree of attachment issues with their older adopted child, parents will be better prepared to seek the time and patience needed to parent a child while us simply waiting to see if she is loved before loving her parents back".


How can I work through what my child is going through?

-Make sure you have support.  Families often rely on post-adoption support.  You might be in a support group during the pre-adoption, but it is said to be helpful to either continue in the same group after adoption or finding support else where such as a licensed therapist depending on what you and your family may personally need.  Know that every family and case is different and what works for some families might not be right for yours but there are so many different options that are available to you. "Dr. Arthur Becker Weldman, an attachment therapist, believes that there are two characteristics common in successful adoptive families: Commitment and Empathy".


Advice:
1. Access therapy and ongoing support
2. Recognize that love is not enough
3. Know that adjustment, attachment, and bonding might take years

Full Article

Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.
Disclaimer

This web site and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this blog are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2015.

VA Passes Law to Prevent "Re-homing" or Unregulated Child Custody Transfers

Re-homing or Unregulated Child Custody Transfers is a hot topic today.  Who can forget the story of the woman who sent her seven year old adopted child back to Russia on a place because she could not parent him?  The Reuters article depicted situations where adopted children were placed informally with child predators without the proper legal processes or vetting of the second family. 

Most adoptions are successful and the child and adoptive family blend to create a new whole. However, this is a process which takes time and expertise.  Too often, families who adopt older children in particular experience unique challenges and receive little support.  Without this support, we sometimes see desperate families seeking alternative placements for their adopted children which are not likely to be successful and may actually be dangerous to the child. The family may be charged with child abandonment and the child will not have services which are critically important to make the transition into the new family. 

In 2014 and 2015, states have passed a number of laws to prevent these unregulated secondary adoption processes. Colorado, Florida and Wisconsin laws ban "advertising" of adopted children over the internet.  In Louisiana and Oklahoma, if a family places an adopted child with a second family without legal oversight, they face criminal charges.  

Virginia has taken a creative approach by encouraging adoptive families in crisis to seek help before they consider placing their adopted child in an unregulated way.  The new Virginia law provides that when  the Division of Vital Records issues a post adoption birth certificate, they must supply a list of post adoption support services to the individual family. Vital Records must update the list annually and maintain this list on its web-site.



View the law here

The hope is that families who are struggling will know where to turn to seek helpful services like respite care, adoption competent counseling, and support groups in their communities. We encourage families who are struggling to seek help from their adoption agencies and adoption attorneys to move forward in healthy ways.

Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.
Disclaimer

This web site and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this blog are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2014.

Making Adoption Affordable 2015

Making Adoption Affordable

Federal Tax Credit

There is help available.  The federal Adoption Tax Credit provides up to $13,400 for qualifying expenses paid to adopt an eligible child in 2015.  The credit is indexed for inflation and will increase annually.  Eligible expenses include adoption fees, court costs, attorney fees, traveling expenses (including amounts spent for meals and lodging) and other expenses directly related to your adoption.  There is an income limit for this credit. See www.irs.gov, for the forms and additional information.                      

Corporate Matching Gifts

Further, many large employers offer adoption assistance.  See htttp://benefits.adoption.com/ for a list of employers.  Those payments may qualify for exclusion from your income for tax purposes in addition to the federal tax credit.  You may exclude up to $13,400 from your income in 2015.  So, for example, if your employer offers adoption assistance payments of $5,000 and your total adoption related expenses were $18,400, you could claim $13,400 as a tax credit AND exclude $5,000 from your income.  However, if your total expenses were $13,400, you could not take the credit and the exclusion-the same expenses cannot be counted twice.  The income limits for the tax credit also apply to the exclusion.

Subsidy for Full Time Military Personnel

There is a one-time reimbursement program available for full-time military personnel of $2,000 per child per calendar year, with a cap of $5,000.  The service member applies for the reimbursement by submitting a DD Form 2675 no later than one year after the adoption is final.  You cannot claim expenses that were reimbursed through the Federal Tax Credit or a Corporate Matching Grant.  See http://www.dfas.mil/militarymembers/payentitlements/adoptionreimbursement.html.  A recent change of policy permits a military member adopting a step-child to claim reimbursement.

Adoption Loans and Grants

Adoption Loans can be obtained from Americas Christian Credit Union or Entrust Financial Credit Union, among other financial service providers.  Additionally, a number of foundations provide grants with specific eligibility criteria.

Adoption Subsidies and Financial Aid for Adopting an Older Child

If you adopt a special needs child or a child from foster care, the cost is usually less.  A monthly adoption subsidy is often available to help pay for everyday expenses and special services such as remedial educational services, physical therapy and medical care.  You may also take the entire amount of the federal tax credit even if you don’t incur those costs.

There are two methods of adopting an older child: you may apply to become a foster parent through your local public agency.  If the child becomes free for adoption and there are no approved relatives, you would have first priority to adopt that child.  Alternatively, you can apply to adopt an older child through a private agency.  Adoptions Together, Catholic Charities and United Methodist Family Services have private programs.  These children are already free for adoption.  The cost of the private programs is slightly more than the public programs.  However, it is still significantly less expensive than any other form of adoption.

The Twelve Commandments of Parenting Older Adopted Children

Children who are older when adopted are at heightened risk of disruption or dissolution.  They bring life experiences and trauma to the family which have to be navigated carefully.  However, it is possible for an older adoptee integrate into the new family. Dr. Gary Matloff, a licensed psychologist and nationally certified school psychologist, wrote an insightful article entitled, "The Twelve Commandments of Parenting Older Adopted Children" which provides some solutions for this process. Note that not all twelve commandments will be mentioned in the blog, just the ones we wanted to highlight.  There is a link at the bottom if you wish to read the entire article.



Abandonment should never be threatened 

                                       -It only reinforces fear and non-acceptance, and leads to the child's mindset                                            of "I'll reject you first".  These children challenge their parents not because                                       they want to leave, but because they want their parents to prove they are wanted.

Embrace Structure

                                       - Having a consistent routine provides the child with security and                                                           predictability.  If the rules are firmly in place, the child can begin to alter                                               his/her behavior.

Maintain honesty in all their relations with their child

                                       -Authentic relationships between people must be anchored by genuineness                                             and sincerity.  When you remain open and honest with your child they                                                   subsequently maintain their integrity and trustworthiness. Being realistic is a                                         must, as they will hold you to whatever you say.  They have experienced                                           disappointment so you must be careful of making unrealistic promises.

Check back

                                        -Often an older child will have a difficult time feeling like they are a part of                                           the family. It is important that you beat them to the emotional punch. Take                                           the initiative, rather than just expect there will be some sort of                                                           acknowledgement.  Parents should develop a ritual of hugs, a wave and  a last                                               look whenever there is separation from the child.

Time-in rather than Time-out

                                       -A time in might mean the child sits at the kitchen table while you cook, or                                            must do chores instead of being sent to their room.  Being isolated from the                                          parent reinforces their feelings of being rejected.

Pick your battles

                                     - Refrain from making an issue over something that cannot or does not need to                                      be controlled.

Keep it in perspective

                                 -Children's behavior shouldn't be taken personally, even when addressed                                                  specifically to the parent.

Forgive and Forget

                                -When the conflict is over, it is essential to forgive and forget.  Forgetting is                                         important in order to simply move on.

Link to Full Article

Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.
Disclaimer

This web site and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this blog are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2014.

Adoption....From the eyes of a child

When adopting a child, there is always so much excitement, happiness and energy that surround the process.  Dreams come true, people become parents, and children gain a stable and loving family.  What is often overlooked is the child's perspective.

We have to go into adoption knowing that we need to focus primarily on the child's perspective.  Of course, being adopted is a big change in the child's life.  He will hopefully receive lots of love, new extended family members for support, and a sense of security and stability through the adoption. But, we need to understand that there is no happy way to get to the point of adoption. Every child's adoption has a back-story, and that back-story includes loss and grief.  The reasons that the child was available for adoption will be complex and the child may struggle with feelings of abandonment and rejection.  If the child is originally from a different country, there is the extra layer of loss of his larger cultural community and customs. We must be sensitive to this grief and loss and try to understand so that we know how to help our adopted child through the hard times he has faced in his life. The child will process these feelings throughout his lifetime and we need to educate ourselves as to how to respond in healthy and affirming ways.  We also need to know about post adoption support resources in our community that can bring a larger world view and context to the adoption experience for the child.  

Below is a two-part link that will lead you to a story from a young adopted woman's perspective.  Kristina is an unusual young woman who seems at peace with her adoption experience.  We know that every adoption story is unique and we hope you enjoy reading about Kristina's journey.

Http://hopeathomeblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/adopted-childs-perspective-on-adoption.html

http://hopeathomeblog.blogspot.com/2011/05/adopted-childs-perspective-kristina.html

Drafted by Brittany Alness, staff member of the Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC.

Disclaimer This blog and the information contained within have been prepared by Law Offices of Karen S. Law, PLC for informational purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. This information is not intended to create, nor does receipt of it constitute an attorney-client relationship. Viewers should not act upon information found here without seeking legal counsel. All photographs shown on this web-site are depictions of clients and are not actual clients of this law firm. Copyright Karen S. Law, 2015

Adoption Law: Start to Finish

Adoption Law: Start to Finish

Sign up for this live seminar on January 27, 2015 for 9am-4:30pm!

Location:

Hilton Garden Inn Fairfax3950 Fair Ridge Dr.Fairfax, VA 22033 

Program Description

Ensure a Smooth Path to a New Life

Adoption is an emotional process for all the parties involved. Are you prepared to assist and guide your clients through this highly emotional time in their lives? Whether you represent the birth parents or the adoptive parents, our faculty will update you on the latest adoption laws, help you understand various procedures and requirements, and give you the background you need to handle adoption cases without unnecessary delays, ethical problems, or surprises. Enroll today!

• Get all the adoption assistance available for your clients, including tax credits and allowable expenses.
• Advise wisely on the differences between licensed agencies and facilitators.
• Find out what the judges are looking for in the adoption process.
• Get practical tips for home study investigations in domestic and intercountry adoptions.
• Ensure clients are adhering to the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children.
• Find out how the latest Supreme Court cases and adoption decisions are likely to affect your future cases.
• Avoid problems when dealing with U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services when adopting an international child by knowing what to expect ahead of time.
• Prepare for problems such as third-party challenges and dissolution of adoption.
• Advise clients knowledgeably with an understanding of current adoption law.
• Tackle sensitive ethical issues and other problems that are unique in adoption situations.

Who Should Attend

This basic-to-intermediate level seminar is designed for professionals who want to learn more about adoption laws and proceedings. Those who should attend include:

• Attorneys
• Paralegals
• Adoption Agency Employees
• Social Workers
• Counselors

Course Content

1. Introduction: Overview of Adoption Options
2. Parental Placement Adoptions
3. Home Study Investigations
4. Agency Adoptions
5. What the Judges are Looking for
6. Interstate Adoptions and Federal Legislation
7. Supreme Court Cases and Adoption Decisions
8. Intercountry Adoption
9. Contested Adoptions
10. Ethics

Click on the link below to register today!

http://www.nbi-sems.com/Details.aspx/R-67843ER%7C?ctname=SPKEM